Imperfection...

I am not perfect. I know...SHOCKER! But....I thought I wanted to "have it all together". I actually thought, I HAD to have it all together. If I wanted to find that special someone...or have more friends....or everyone to like me.....etc. You would think, I would get over this by now. You would think. Just when I think I'm finally being myself....I slip up. I get caught up in being someone else.

About a month ago, I went out with some friends, and met some new people. And I overcame a huge fear. I told them exactly where I was in my life, with no worry of what they were thinking. I ordered a beer, that I liked. I danced, as crazy as I wanted, and I put my hair in a ponytail, not caring how it looked. I had fun. Real fun.

Then...I ran into some people from my past...two on a Thursday night, and two on a Friday night...I hugged them. Told them I was happy to see them. And went on with my night. I really meant what I said. Which some of my friends find confusing. They saw me on the bathroom floor crying over these people. Locked up in the house for months. But in all seriousness....I have no yuckiness in my heart over anyone. I am at peace. At peace with my messed up self. . At peace with the world. At peace with my past and future....

Yeah, I still eat Pizza Rolls, and leave dishes in the sink, forget to fold my clothes after I dry them, air headed, struggle to stay in shape, insomniac, and silly habits.

But I'm also, a lover of life, my family, my friends, playful, bright side of life, lover of the outdoors, and nature. Crazy girl who will go on any adventure, sing at the top of my lungs with the windows rolled down, take a new road to my grandpa's because I've never been down that road before. Stop to take photos wherever, and whenever, make you food when you are down or sick, pick you up from the airport, and rub your back when you are sad. Yep...that's me. And I love all my imperfections.....