Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Michael Jordan 'Maybe It's My Fault' Commercial

the only failure is never to try.....

I'm super excited tonight. I have been pushing through with my running schedule. Every time I finished running, I felt exhausted. I know I'm out of shape, but I used to run so much faster, and feel so great after a run. Until tonight......I was running, and feeling that same barrier. I decided to give, Beth, a pep talk. "Beth. You are a runner. You love running. Your body can handle the extra push. Push yourself."

All the right songs came on my iPod, giving me the extra push (Lose Yourself, Eye of the Tiger, etc.) Before I knew it, I felt the runner take over. I sped up and corrected my posture. The fighter was back. I had the best time and felt the old feeling of accomplishment. The marathon is in 27 weeks. My goal is to finish. This feels amazing......

"I always loved was something you could do by yourself, and under your own power. You could go in any direction, fast or slow as you wanted, fighting the wind if you felt like it, seeking out new sights just on the strength of your feet and the courage of your lungs."
-Jesse Owens

26.2 miles. Finishing what I started. Proving people (including myself) wrong. Shedding the former image of myself. Bring it. and the cake. :)

Monday, May 23, 2011

facing myself

I've recently had some big decisions to make....I hate making big decisions. I don't trust myself to make important life altering decisions. I have made so many mistakes, and trusted in the wrong things. It keeps me from accomplishing my goals and allowing new people or new things to develop in my life.

Today has been a very emotional day. I've cried, been angry with myself, cried, and listened to sad music. And this afternoon...I decided to be honest with myself, and accept the fact, I need to change things in my life. They aren't necessarily bad for me, but take my attention away from my dreams. Distractions. Hurdles.

I can't count how many amazing things have happened in my life recently. I am finally starting to know to do a little polishing. I'm ready to stop feeling unworthy because of my appearance, my past, my "chaos", and my fears.

"Without discipline there is nothing to be proud of". Richard L Kempe

Monday, May 16, 2011


"What the caterpillar calls the end of the world the master calls a butterfly. "
Richard Bach

It has been such a long time since I have blogged....hopefully I can stay consistent this time.
The past year, has been an amazing learning process for me about life, friends, holding on to the rope, betrayal, forgiveness, and many many more. I'm learning to just be. Just be, Beth. And peeling away the many layers. Giving into the chaos and trying to organize it a little. :) Dating, or realizing, I would like to. Opening my life to someone again. I'm loving this journey and hanging on for dear life. Is there someone who could really embrace all of my quirkiness? Who can roll their eyes at my sense of humor.....hmmmm.