a little honesty

So, I've been a little sad lately. Don't be mad at me, especially if you have asked me how I"m doing......because I will never tell you, I'm a little sad. This is one reason I wanted to blog. My feelings are complicated. I don't really "share" intimate details. But this week, I've been sad. I'm forcing myself to be happy. And to keep moving on. It's so hard when you loved someone so much. You made plans together, you shared many late night talks. Don't get me wrong, there were so many things bad about the relationship. But for some reason, this week, all I can do.............is think about the good times. I'm missing something. Something I will never have back. The idea of finishing our lives together is now......gone. And forever changed. awkward situations, to be nice, to "pretend" to get along.

I know this feeling will pass. I know the future is so bright for me. I have discovered, maybe I have never truly been loved. The choice of two souls so engaged in each other, where nothing else matters. Knowing and trusting the other with your every being.

Here is a song....I love. Music speaks to my soul. I have no words sometimes, but the music speaks for me.


"Where I Stood" Missy Higgins

I don't know what I've done
Or if I like what I've begun
But something told me to run
And honey you know me it's all or none

There were sounds in my head
LIttle voices whispering
That I should go and this should end
Oh and I found myself listening

'Cos I dont know who I am, who I am without you
All I know is that I should
And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you
All I know is that I should
'Cos she will love you more than I could
She who dares to stand where I stood

See I thought love was black and white
That it was wrong or it was right
But you ain't leaving without a fight
And I think I am just as torn inside

'Cos I dont know who I am, who I am without you
All I know is that I should
And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you
All I know is that I should
'Cos she will love you more than I could
She who dares to stand where I stood

And I won't be far from where you are if ever you should call
You meant more to me than anyone I ever loved at all
But you taught me how to trust myself and so I say to you
This is what I have to do

'Cos I dont know who I am, who I am without you
All I know is that I should
And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you
All I know is that I should
'Cos she will love you more than I could
She who dares to stand where I stood
Oh, she who dares to stand where I stood


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_WaVv874DfE